Okay, I wasn't sure if I should post this, but I'm going to go ahead an do it (be brave, right?). The inspiration for this came from the blog, Nothing But Red. It's not a happy poem, but I hope it moves you. I seem to have the seeds for several more poems coming out of this, I'll try to do better next time.
Nothing but Red
You colored my world
With cinnamon dreams
With sky blue hopes
And sea green schemes.
You raised me on tales
That revealed to me
A rosy-fingered dawn
Over a wine-dark sea.
You said life was a rainbow
The future a gem
But you never told me
It was meant only for them.
Your boychild was given
Life’s golden key
That closes the cage
You built just for me.
But when I would protest
And when I had fled
You colored my death
With nothing but red.
24 comments:
Oh Ann - that is a wonderful poem! I can't even pick out a favorite line because it all sings together perfectly. Love it!!
Great metaphor, although I wasn't quite sure what was meant by the reference to the child?
Thanks, Rhi, glad you liked it.
Hi, Emily. You mean where I talk about the boychild? In the article about the girl who was killed, it said that some of the instigators were her relatives. They didn't mention if any were her brothers or not, but even an uncle or male cousin would make her feel doubly betrayed, I would imagine.
Damn Ann, that's good.
That's great! I love the last stanza you colored my death with nothing but red. Love it.
Thank you, Meryl and Amy, glad you both liked it.
I loved it.
This is great: That closes the cage
You built just for me.
Awesome!
another story! love poems that tell a story.
building on the theme of color was so powerful. loved the alliteration in 'cinnamon dreams/sea green schemes'
This flows perfectly and and one gets a beautifull array of colours in avery moving way.
Love the opening:
"You colored my world
With cinnamon dreams"
Gives a sense of homey comfort which just makes the rest of the poem more sinister.
Oh, that's heartbreaking, but so beautiful!
great! well not great because its not a happy poem, but great in a wordsmith sorta way
and you are right, this is just the tip of the ice berg.
It started happy, but there was big clouds that came fast!!
Thank you everybody, I'm glad you liked it. Next week, I'll try for cheerful. :)
It's dark, but I love dark lit. And it gives me an idea for a story... Thanks for sharing. :)
Whoa. This is powerful, Ann. I love the way it's circular, too, tying back to the color red.
Oh, I really like this. I tend to like the dark poems and I love the use of color and metaphor.
Thanks for stopping by, Heather, Susan, and Rinda, glad you liked it.
It flows so beautifully, that it only really hits you in the end,
and I had tears in my eyes by then.
I think sometimes we choose to be blind.
Or maybe it all feels overwhelming sometime. I'm glad my poem moved you.
Many things are overwhelming sometimes.
Make the sometimes fewer and far between with a life lived to its fullest.
I couldn't find anywhere to leave a comment for your TT, so I'm adding it to these comments for your Friday Snippet - hope you check here! I love your last one about the glasses - perhaps that also resulted in your broken arms...?
I'm with Julia! (Thank goodness, cause I thought I was stupid)
Loved reading your memories from,.... ahem... yesterday :)
Hi Julia- the comment icon has been found (yay). I wish I could blame even one of them on my nearsightedness, but alas I can't. I was just a klutz. Thanks for stopping by.
Hi Wylie- Thanks for visiting. Glad you liked my list.
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