Third Draft

Well, the bad news is the Dayjob is sucking my brains out and leaving me with mush, the good news is that despite this I have started writing again. The second draft hit a wall, so I went directly to the third draft, changing the tone, the direction, and even many plot complications. I have a sneaky suspicion that one of my main characters might die, I don't know yet. Anyway, I decided to post my first paragraph to see what you think of my new direction.

I don’t think “How I came to be a Witch” would be considered the typical title, or subject for the average essay applying to the ordinary grad school program. Nor do I imagine that most grad school applicants begin their essays by stating that if they don’t get accepted into the particular grad program to which they are applying that they most likely will be dead before the year is out. But the wounds are too new and I now have hostages to fate, innocent souls who are more dear to me than my own life, and for them I will say this, if you do not help me I will die and they who depend on me will be at the mercy of those who brought about my ruin. I’ve been told that you need to know this, and as I trust implicitly the one who told me this, I will tell you my story.

Interested? Want more? Either way, let me know (I'm needing feedback).